Friday, July 19, 2013

The Prison of the Mind


For so long I’ve been a slave
A prisoner to lies
Truths and half-truths weave together
Occupy my mind
Thoughts of death and darkness
Secret fears and sin
And though you try to reach me
I cannot let you in
The darkness is intoxicating
I breathe in and out the lies
Though you may try to help me
I’ll tell you I am fine             
The lies are slowly killing me
But they are all I know
If I left them all behind
To where else would I go?
I cannot live like this forever
Something has to give
I need someone to help me
Someone to let me live
For too long I’ve been a slave
A prisoner to lies
I need someone to free me
From the prison of my mind
I need to feel the love
That I’ve been numb to all these years
To feel your arms around me
To cast away my fears
I need to see the purpose
The meaning in my life
To know that there is so much more
Than pain, darkness and lies
If I let you love me
Then maybe I could see
The truth behind the lies
Buried deep inside of me

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Depression

The sun shines down
And warms her face
The cool breeze blows
Against her skin
She lies in the green grass
Stares up at the blue sky
Happiness—
This feeling is so foreign
She knows it is not here to stay
But she’ll enjoy it while it lasts

Uneasiness sets in
The sky turns gray
A cool fog dampens her skin
She knew this companion of darkness would return
God, please make it leave, she whispers
The familiar lies run through her mind.
You are worthless.
You will never be good enough.
You’re alone.
You might as well give up.
She tries to remember what’s true
But lies are all she can hear

They all expect her to be happy
To just wake up and be okay
They won’t believe that she is sick
And cannot heal herself
What they do not know
Is that just living, breathing
Is exhausting
Pretending to be happy
Just makes things worse
When she’s dying inside
Simultaneously hurt and numb

She’s afraid to keep on living
But giving up is not an option
So she’ll keep on fighting
Keep on breathing
And hope that someday
This darkness will fade
Someday she’ll find hope
And know the Truth
That sets her free

Alive

You’re alive
You are not dead
Your heart is beating
Lungs are breathing
You’re alive, you’re alive
You are thinking, you are feeling
You’re alive, you’re alive
The pain is real      
And it is strong
But hope is real
And it is stronger
You’re alive, you’re alive
So go outside
And smell the flowers
Hear the wind blow in the trees
Listen to the birds that sing
Feel the sun upon your face
You’re alive, you’re alive
The God who’s made creation good
Has declared you “very good”
You’re alive, you’re alive
You are loved and you are worthy
Precious child of the King
You are clean and you’re forgiven
Brought from darkness into light
And in Him you find your healing
You’re alive, you’re alive

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Problem with Self-Punishment


“Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.” Hebrews 9:27-28
                                   
Many people all over the world, from various religions, hurt themselves physically to try to please their gods. But when is the self-punishment enough? There’s never any assurance of salvation.

Many people hurt themselves for various reasons—by cutting, or in other ways. There are many reasons people do this, but a common reason is self-punishment. We know that sin cannot go unpunished. It cannot simply be excused. Blood must be shed. Even Hebrews 9:22 says, “And without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” The problem comes in when we think it’s our own blood that needs to be shed. If we hurt or punish ourselves every time we sin, does that really take away our sin? No, we’ll probably sin again pretty soon! And how will we know when we’ve suffered enough, hurt ourselves enough? It can never be enough!

In the Old Testament, God instructed the Jews to sacrifice animals to “pay” for their sins. But these animals could not take the people’s sin away permanently. The people kept sinning, so they kept having to offer sacrifices every year. But God sent his perfect Son, Jesus into the world to die in our place, for our sins. He bled and died, and after three days, he rose to life. His blood was enough to cover all our sins, past, present and future. He forgives us for everything we have done wrong. Because He died once, we have no need to punish ourselves again and again and again. Jesus takes away our sin completely, forever, and self-punishment cannot. We need to simply accept Jesus’ death in our place and his forgiveness, and thank him for it.

So maybe you’re thinking, “Okay, but I don’t self-injure. How does this relate to me?” Well, when you sin, do you accept Jesus’ forgiveness, or do you continue to beat yourself up with guilt and shame? Do you place your identity in the mistakes you’ve made? Do you think you’re a failure and get discouraged about how many times you’ve messed up in the same way? We are not saved from our sins by the good works we do, but by what Jesus did for us. Jesus did the work by taking our punishment on himself. It is our choice whether we will accept his gift to us.