The Cinder Block: My analogy for depression

Depression can be hard to explain, and it can be really hard for people who have never experienced it to truly understand. This is one way I like to think of it.

Being depressed is like having a cinder block hanging from your heart. It's heavy and painful, but you can't do anything to get rid of it. You have to drag it with you wherever you go. Sometimes it seems heavier than others. Some days you might be able to live normally, but with an underlying sadness and something that slows you down a little. Other days, it's all you can do to just get out of bed. People might think you're just being lazy or having a bad day, but you know the pain you feel and the motivation that's missing.

But there are things that can help to lighten the cinder block for me. Taking a nap (although I have to be careful not to oversleep). A hug from a friend. Spending time with people who care.

If you know someone with depression, try to remember that it can be hard to live a normal life while carrying a "cinder block." 

If you have depression, remember that life will probably not always be this painful. There will be days when the cinder block lightens or disappears completely and you can enjoy life again.

Hope Hides

Like the sun

Hiding behind storm clouds

Hope hides

Behind hopelessness

Healing                

Behind pain and brokenness

Belonging

Behind the loneliness

Light

Behind the darkness

Freedom

Behind bondage

Truth

Behind the lies

Peace and rest

Behind the torment

Purpose

Behind lostness

Life

Behind death

Peel back the layers

Let me feel hope and meaning

Open my eyes 

Restore my sight

Open my mouth

That I may taste hope

Open my heart

Let me live

Random things that help with depression

I've struggled with depression to some extent since childhood and more so since high school. This is just a list of things that have helped me to cope with depression or lessened my depression at one time or another. None of these things are necessarily a cure. Since everyone's different, some of these ideas may help you and others may not. Don't get overwhelmed by trying to do all of these; these are just some ideas. And there are probably plenty of other helpful things that I didn't mention here. This list is somewhat random and isn't in order of importance or anything. I hope this is encouraging/helpful to others who struggle with depression. It is a good reminder to me! ;)

Being outside

Not sure how this would work for someone who hates the outdoors lol . . . But I love being outside! It is a lot more peaceful, and it feels easier to breathe.

Reminding yourself of the truth

It is so easy to believe lies when you're depressed. For example, "I'm worthless," "I'm a bother to people," "Life is hopeless," etc.

But, if you have a relationship with Jesus, these are some of the things that are true:

• You are loved--perfectly and unconditionally (Romans 5:8, 8:35-39; 1 John 3:1, 4:16)
• God will never leave you (Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 43:2, Hebrews 13:5)
• You belong to God (John 10:27-30, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
• You are valuable (Genesis 1:26-27, Psalm 139, Isaiah 43:7)
• There is always hope (Jeremiah 29:10-11, 31:17;  Romans 5:3-5)

Sometimes, if the depression is bad enough, I have trouble remembering what the truth is. At times like this, it's helped me to have good friends remind me of what's true. 

Exercise

I know that this can be really frustrating (and probably overused) advice. I like to compare this advice to telling someone who has the flu to go run a 5K! (And this is coming from someone who's bad at running!) It can be extremely hard to make yourself get out of bed and go to school or work, much less exercise! So don't feel like you have to push yourself too hard. But getting a little bit of exercise (taking a walk, going on a short bike ride) can really help you feel better emotionally.

Sleep

Within reason . . . It's easy to sleep too much when you're depressed, but not getting enough sleep can definitely make it worse!

Eating 

Once again, within reason! Depression is different for everyone, so some people eat too much and others eat too little. I often lose my appetite, but I usually feel better if I make myself eat something.

Spending time with friends

It's best if they're "safe" friends . . . friends you can be yourself around, and you don't have to pretend to be happy when you're not.

Seeing a counselor

Aka. therapist. For some reason I really hate the name "therapist," so I always call them counselors. Sometimes it can take a few tries before finding someone who's good for you.

Antidepressants

This isn't for everybody, but they can be really helpful if the depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. I've also heard that low vitamin levels can cause depression, so vitamin supplements could help with that.

Writing/journaling/poetry

Sometimes it's easier for me to express my thoughts and feelings through writing than through talking. I also like to journal and write my prayers to God.

Listening to music

But you have to be careful with this one. Depending on the music, it can make you feel better or worse.

Playing an instrument

For me it's guitar. :)

Animals

Play with your pets . . . or your neighbors' pets! ;) Unless, of course, you hate animals!

Prayer

You might be tired of hearing this one. Christians can so flippantly say, "Just pray about it!" as if that fixes everything. But we weren't designed to carry our burdens and pain, by ourselves; it will crush us if we try! It is such a relief when you finally give your burdens to God. And you have to keep going to him again and again.

Reading the Bible

I really like reading Psalms. It is comforting and reminds me of God's love.

Making a list of things you're  thankful for

Some people seem to think that unthankfulness and pessimism are the only causes for depression, and that is not true! However, thankfulness has helped me because it changes my perspective and it's a way to praise God.

Making a list every day of things that made you happy

This is something my counselor suggested last year. It helped to change my perspective. You may not find something every day, and that's okay. But don't overlook the little things that make you smile: Seeing a friend, hearing a friend's laugh, eating food you like, seeing a sunrise/sunset, playing with your dog . . .

Looking for the beauty around you

Even in the pain and ugliness of life, there's still beauty. Don't miss it!  Sunrises and sunsets, flowers--alive or dead!, trees, colors and patterns, smiles, laughter . . .

If You Only Knew

Although the topic is different, I got some ideas/inspiration for this poem from my friend Mandy Moore's poems, particularly Her Only Choice and Speak Up Sweet Child.

The point of this poem is that we shouldn't judge others because we have no idea what they're going through. That's not to say that sin is okay or that it should be encouraged. 

If you only knew

That this was not her choice

If you only knew 

Maybe you’d give her back her voice

If you could only spend

A few moments in her mind

Maybe you would stop

Before judging her this time

If you only knew

What she had missed when she was young

Maybe you would understand

Just how this all begun

If you could feel the boulder

Hanging from her heart

Maybe you would stop

Before tearing her apart

If you only knew

Struggle isn’t always sin

Maybe you would help her fight

And tell her she can win

If you only knew

That Jesus was a friend sinners

You might also be her friend

Instead of judging her a sinner

If you could only feel

Everything she felt

Maybe you would shut your mouth

Instead of saying, “Burn in Hell”

If you only knew 

That this was causing her to bleed

Maybe you would try to be

The friend she really needs

If you knew the guilt and shame

She carries every day

Maybe you would carry her

And not just turn away

If you only knew

That her time is running out

You would show her she is needed

Instead of causing her to doubt

If you only knew

Just how much she wants to live

You would step outside yourself

And to her freedom, give

If you only knew

That all she really wants is love

You would show her she is cherished

And washed with Jesus’ blood 

If you only knew 

That she is one of us

You would treat her like a treasure

Instead of trampling her like dust